getting bigger before getting smaller

So, last night I was flexing in the mirror (as you do) and the light was just right that I could see the definition in my arms. Since I’m not lean yet, I like to think of it as a preview of what’s to come;  I like it!

I’ll admit I’ve been feeling frustrated that I don’t seem to be burning much fat when in the past I’ve had better (faster) results by eating less, weight machines and cardio. I have lost fat quite well like that and in comparison rather quickly. I know that body transformation takes time. I’m grounded enough to know that I shoudln’t expect results overnight, and that these things take time. Of course I’m impatient and I want my new body NOW, but I know that’s not realistic. This can take months, or years and this is what I’m expecting. The only thing is, I’m results driven. If i see myself getting smaller I work harder. logically it should be the opposite, but it’s not. I need to see results to keep going. The trick is, convincing myself that this time it’s different because I’m doing something different. I have used weights and weight machines in the past but I haven’t lifted heavy weight like this before. So, the results will be different and how long (or how quickly) it takes to achieve them will also be different.

Yesterday I found this article:   and it was good timing. I recalled some articles I read before I started doing this about how it’s common to get bigger first. So I just need to remember this.

Week 2, day 3 

Squat 35kg

Bench press 25kg

Barbell row 34.5kg

ropes 6 ‘sets’, 20-30 seconds each

hip abductor 70kg 3×10

hip adductor 75kg 3×10

Nutrition wasn’t the best this weekend. I had beer, and yesterday I feel like i ate my body weight in cake. Oh well. Back on track this week. Except today, I left my lunch on the counter at home! I’m so annoyed, i had it all prepared the forgot it. Finding something healthy to eat out is not going to be that easy but I’ll try!

Last week I got my period. Amazingly, it was tolerable. The first morning my cramps felt pretty bad and on the way to work I was regretting leaving the house. But after a while the pills kicked in and it was actually smooth sailing for the rest of  the period. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t fun. I still felt bloated, upset stomach (this is usual), tired as hell, hungry as hell, emotional as hell, my back hurt but the pain wasn’t excruciating. What a relief this was after the past 2 months. The past 2 were so bad I wanted to go to the hospital (i just didn’t because both times I was out of town in a foreign country and didn’t want to deal with it). This is what i was hoping for from the exercise and change in diet. I don’t know if it’s due that or not (in the past I’ve had a period that was inexplicably easy), so it will take a few more cycles to see. I hope I hope I hope that it will stay like this. Okay it doesn’t erase the fact that my endometriosis is progressing, so I will still need to find a surgeon but if it alleviates symptoms then woo hoo! I was able to function and even work out, so it was good 🙂  I would prefer I didn’t feel so tired and to not have the raging hormones, but I’ll take what I can get.

Back to the gym today to start week 3!

Bad-ass bitch


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